I need help and hope

by Gail ()

How do I keep from worrying about money? Right now I am worried about my financial cares. I made a mistake going to a payday website and they can only help me. I could pay less than $100, but I doubt that they could help me. I brought it on myself. I woke up with these thoughts. Next week, I go to the grocery store and I had a negative balance on my card before. It was an embarrassing experience. My brother was upset. We went all the way home saying nothing, at least I did not. I admit to being bad with money and I have no idea how to save, even with a budget. I am a spend thrift, meaning I need all the help I can get controlling my spending. Now I am scared that I will never pay off the loan and I need help, right now. I go to the store within a week or so. I have a small income, which I lied about, which made it worse. Who else should I confess to? I know I am confessing this about this to you, but I have difficulty forgiving myself and I have no real faith or a lack of faith. I am struggling. I feel like I am saying all of the wrong words to the Lord and that there is something deeper that I don’t know about. Could it be that in order for Him to answer this prayer, God wants me to pray differently for my financial issues or for my other situations such as fear, dishonesty, doubts, caring what other things, fear of embarrassment, and having little faith that God will supply. How do I overcome this? I am scared that the Lord will not answer my prayer if I don’t tell Him what He needs to hear so that I can get my prayer answered. I don’t know what to do, nor do I know what to say. I have lied before about my financial situation. I don’t know what will happen. I got greedy and scared. I was afraid that my account would be in the red, so I applied for a loan. I lied about the amount of money that I made. I have no idea how to repent of this lie. I have asked God to forgive me of this lie. I have so far paid my bill, but I have a lot more money to pay. I wonder who else I should confess my lie to, like a relative, someone in law, or even the company. All I can do is to pay and leave it there, but even paying what I can has made me worries. I need help. What else should I do? I have no idea how to pray for God. I wish I was a lender and not a constant borrower. I have no idea what to do or even say to God. Now it makes me wonder if God even hears to me sometimes. I have prayed about this over and over and over, but I am still worried. I just can’t leave it there. Right now, as I am typing this, I wonder if you will judge me because of my sin. What if my “boss” finds out? I am on SSI with an even smaller income and now one of my relatives told me about being a conservator as far as my account. I am spending nearly all of my income on bills and on groceries. What have I done? I am a Christian, but I have little faith in God, especially right now.

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