I have been depressed for many years now.I have always had mental problems

by Kristoffer (KINGSTON,JAMAICA)

I have been depressed for many years now.I have always had mental problems, social problems, and other challenging circumstances in my life. I always had problems talking with the opposite sex, maintaining friendships with people, not just women. I went to a head doctor and was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. My depression has worsened because i feel guilty about something that i did, it wasn’t wrong or illegal or anything like that, but i think it was poor judgement on my part and because of this everyday is like hell. I dont think i can cope, i am hanging on for dear life, i feel like committing suicide. This depression has been going on for over a decade now, and i think Ive made it worse by another bad decision. i ask for your prayers please. please pray that i will have the courage to be a man.also i am going back to school this year, please pray that i will be successful in my subjects and also i went to the doctor because i have a serious back injury ,its a siatica nerve problem,the disc in my lower back and the bones in my lower back are pressing down on my siatic nerve,the long term effect is that i may become incapacitated-unable to walk again or be in a wheel chair for the rest of my life.please pray for me,that it will not be so.god bless you.i think i am being troubled by an evil spirit/force whatever,every night i get into bed it shakes.please pray for me.please pray for me that i will get a young lady as i am very lonely.also i am on medication for the schizophrenia and it makes me weak/saps my energy and sometimes when i do get a job i have problems staying awake and this causes problems between me and my employer .i am doing some studies i want to become a computer engineer,it also saps my energy while i work.please pray that god will give me the energy i need to complete the course.thank you and god bless you.a young lady at my church said something to me in the sense that i am not a real man,and that it was my father who is the real man,calling him by his first name when she did it,it happened 6 months ago and it hurts soooooooooooo very very very badly,i want to hurt her so badly,please pray that i don’t,and somebody else at that church dissed me ,putting me down and not believing that i have schizophrenia, i want to hurt her also very badly,please pray that i don’t.please pray for me.also i want prayer for this, i know that it’s not the correct medium for this but i am in dire financial stress and i have been playing the lotto, i am asking you to pray that i may win someday also my computer science teacher is giving me a warm time,it’s a’ level computer science,i am trying my very best to put in the work but because of the schizophrenia medication i am very tired most times,but he doesn’t think i’m authentic,he thinks i’m not trying,sometimes i want to hit him but i have to hold back,please pray that i don’t,and also there’s a girl in my class giving me a warm time having no respect for me and completely disrespecting me everytime,she pretends that she likes me but whenever i get close to her she disses me,please pray that i don’t hurt her as well,and there is another young lady who is going around and telling people that i am a rapist because of something that happened years ago between me and another young lady,she is jealous of the relationship between me and that young lady and by the way i did not rape that young lady she can attest to that fact.and also my fatrher and i are not getting along ,because he is the bigger man he thinks he should ego-bruise me in whatever way he can,everytime we have an argument he always negatively attacks me,he doesnt want me to realise my dremas because he got a chance to go away one time to work with i.b.m and he didnt so it is hurting his ego everytime he sees me trying to prosper in my life.and please pray that i do not hurt my mother because i am trying to be peaceful with her as well and she is helping me through school but its as if she doesnt believe i am the person i say i am,whenever i get into an argument with her and my father i find that my character comes into question and i

have to be defending my character everytime,i feel it is the same in general with people around me,they treat me strange as if im some kind of psychopath/sociopath,you know as if im wicked,as if im some kind of outcast.i know this is not the appropiate medium for this but im asking you pray that i may win the lotto some day as i am in dire straits,and i need the money to hav e a decent life and to go to university some day ,and last but not least please pray that i pass all my subjects with the highest grades in the history of these exams and so the computer engineering degree i want as well,may god bless you richly for indulging my time,and thank you.