I fell in love with a wonderful man who suffers from extreme ptsd from being a combat medic in the us army. he did 4 tours of duty in both iraq and afghanistan. he suffers from nightmares of people he has killed, iraqi and afghan children mortally wounded by land mines and other explosives and not being able to save all his soldiers. He is on half a dozen meds and while i never expected to fall in love with him, I did.
I have tried to be patient but at times i fail. a few nights ago another vet who has in the past taken advantage of my sweetys mental state needed a place to stay and he is bad news. my sweety and i were spending a nice night together and i did the horrible thing of getting angry and acting selfish and storming out saying hurtful things because he chose to help this fella out with a place to stay. I hurt him and even though i’ve tried to make things right by apologizing he will not speak to me. I hate myself for what i’ve done. i was just so hurt and frustrated and chose to be so selfish. i just need his forgiveness. it’s clear that i am not good for him but i can’t bear the thought of this wonderful man thinking i’m a horrible person. Thank you