I ask of you Jesus, and I ask Your Father, and the Universe to help me now

by Susanne (Liverpool)

I ask of you Jesus, and I ask Your Father, and the Universe to help me now. I have shouldered a heavy load for a lot of my life. I lost my father as young child. Then my nana. I was self sufficient from a young age. For the last ten years I have blindly wandered through a world of grief, as I lost my older family, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and my mother. The remaining family are cruel, racist and generally people I do not love. I have started to feel better and although I have been really ill felt at last I was coming out of the desert. Now my daughter who for all the time I’ve been grieving hasn’t shown me any compassion or love and yet I have still supported her through her trials and tribulations and they have been many. She lies about me and says that I do nothing when I have helped her every step of the way. Even the day after my mothers funeral she sent me abusive and cruel messages over nothing. She has two children and has got the social services involved claiming she is on her own. She has never been on her own but I pulled back my help and support a little as it’s very hard to help someone who you have given a good life to, and I worked very hard to do that, and then watch as they have no intention of working, or contributing to the world. She has the attitude that I as her mother should do everything including having the children more. Even though we have them over the weekend, she screams at me if I take them back before five o’clock at night after having them since the day before. The children sulk and don’t want to go home. They want to stay with us, I’ve never told her that. She badmouths us to the kids and we just take it and say things like it’s okay mummy loves you. I have also supported many others. So my grand children mean the world to me. Myself and my partner have looked after them twice a week and much more since they were born. They sleep every weekend and no matter how ill I’ve been and how tired their grandad has been we haven’t let them down. Now my daughter after screaming and shouting as is the normal behaviour was in shock because my loving and selfless partner snapped. He was sick of hearing her ask for things and put me down. An example of her behaviour is 24 negative texts in a day. I have become withdrawn because of it. Now he stood up for me and our reward? She has stopped us seeing the children and even though we know it’s hurting them she refuses to believe that it is. She has told us the children don’t care and we know they do. I have kept it together after losing my family. But I cannot and will not accept that I can no longer see my grandchildren. I love them so much and worry about how they are without our support and love. They are too small to be on their own, and need us and we need them. I ask that after my daughter told us to go away in much more disgusting language than I could ever write on here. I miss my grandchildren every second of every day. I don’t think even though everyone calls me strong that I can do this without my grandchildren. I cannot even find it in my heart to forgive my daugher for the cruel and horrible things she has done to me. A small example I fought for her against someone bullying her. Then she made friends with them and said horrible things about me. That is the level of her behaviour. I don’t even understand why she is like this. So I ask that You Lord and You Jesus go into her heart and let her see the damage she is doing to us all. I ask that the grandchildren stay at my house this weekend, and that I can be with them. I have been strong with your help and have survived so much. I was looking forward to finally resting and having the pleasure of being with my grandchildren and partner. I ask of you out there that you pray for me. I ask that God helps and does it now. Even through the most awful times I have prevailed with Your help. I just feel now that this is too much. I need help with money too, but that pales into insiginificance when I am without the love of the children. Thank you.

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