Help us rescue and save our marriage

My wife moved out due to her perceptions and fears of my relationships with other women. I’m willing to change my behaviours but I also need her to change hers (ignoring me, not being my companion, allowing her toxic friends to influence her thoughts and behaviour about our marriage, and her excessive spending patterns) so that I don’t seek emotional connections elsewhere and so that we bond with one another and go places and do things together and finish raising our son into his adulthood together, and growing old together having some fun and enjoying adventures together. It’s that simple. I am tired and exhausted with the emotional and financial roller coaster ride and we both deserve better. She cannot afford to live on her owns and is often overdrawn at the bank and relies on me (lies about why) to bail her out financially and I cannot afford to pay for 2 homes while taking care of myself and the kid whom she left at home with me. I appreciate her trust in leaving him with me while she figures this out for herself. But, I want my family back together. I will give and do whatever is required (ok, with a few exceptions. I will not become socially isolated again). I beg for insight, guidance, and help to fix this problem. I can’t fix it alone and need her to engage and commit to our marriage and to work with me on fixing things. I can live without sex (a different story that has to do with her medical needs and her hormonal status) but not without the friendship and companionship and affection. Please pray for us. Please help us. I spend my days and evenings at work for the greater glory of God putting my given skills and abilities to helping others make their lives better, repair and renew their relationships and marriages, and I do this because it is my calling. I ask for some small reward for this. Bring my family back under one roof. Bring my wife home. I will give anything. I am almost out of faith and out of hope. I survived the holidays but it was very close. I become horribly and terrifyingly suicidal but I find solace in knowing that this shall pass and is simply another Dark Night of the Soul but I need light. Please bring my wife home to me. I will change anything and I need her to make changes and we can be ok again. Please do not forsake us. My son deserves better. My wife deserves better. And, even the imperfect that is me, deserves better.

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