Our father who is in Heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven, Lord God Almighty El Shaddai Immanuel Jehovah YESHUA father God, I struggle with much less now than I have in the past. You saved me from many bondages many addictions many evil and wicked ways, but my heart my mind and my body is still not whole or pure. I struggle with nicotine still and sugar and unhealthy food and most of all I struggle with being gay. I am far from holy and pure and just but much closer than I once was before. You tell me to fast and pray and fast and pray and this will take away the vaping and cleanse my body but then I struggle with it. As soon as I feel stressed I give in to it. There are so many distractions that I can’t get away from. Kasey is always in my ear about something. And I get angry because I feel she makes things harder for me. What do I do?????? Ughhh help me please!! Help her just to be quiet and let me so what I Know is best or help her see the door and accept her walking through it and on her way. I get discouraged because the more I grow near you the more I see more flaws in myself and wonder if I’ll ever be whole. Why does it have to be so hard all the time??? Help me Lord because I’m constantly convinced with no motivation. I get brought down but not brought up. I feel constantly chastised with no encouragement. I feel broken without hope of resolve. Help motivate me Lord please!!!!! Even I encourage my son while chastising him. Encourage me I need encouragement!!! I thank you for bringing me this far and know you won’t abandoned me here now but I feel discouraged and need to be uplifted! I need a drink of water and a little rest to get back on the treadmill. Please lord I ask in your holy name Yahweh that you please encourage me today and help me find motivation. Please please please lord please I’m asking you this in your holy gracious name Amen Shelom
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