Healing and understanding GOD

by Mark ()

I have battled for over 25 years a debilitating mental illness, severe depression, anxiety, fear and plain misery. I have lost friendships both platonic and romantic due to this EVIL mental illness. I draw disability due to the fact I am unable to work and unable to function each and everyday. Some days i barely function, other days I do not function. The heartache in my heart is real, I am so miserable I cannot stand to be in my own skin, plagued with NONSTOP fear, worried sick over my fur kids which GOD placed here for me to care for. I have lost 5 of my fur kids in less than 2 years and I lost my Dad 5 years ago, August 15th. I recently had my Shadow Boxer put down as his heart disease had advanced and there was no hope for a cure. I am broken, i have been prayed for 1000’s of times by ministers, churches, TBN and close friends. it provides MAYBE a week’s reprieve then all hell breaks loose and I am back into the same mindset of misery, dysfunction and torment. I sometimes believe GOD could care less and i begin to doubt HIS direction and many times wonder if HE actually even hears my nonstop yearnings from my heart for a cure. I cannot continue to live under this extreme despair and condemnation or I will take my own life into my hands and free myself. I am asking for prayers of healing for ALL my remaining cats and 1 dog and prayers for myself too and my wonderful Mom. Thank you and GOD bless ALL of you!!

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1 comment for “Healing and understanding GOD”

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  1. I'm understand your struggle

    Mark,
    I understand your struggle. I’m going through a lot of what you are. I too am on disability for anxiety and depression. It’s miserable living this way. I encourage you to keep fighting. God has not forgotten you no matter how you feel. I pray that the Lord would extend His healing to you and all your pets. He deeply loves you and your pets. I pray that the Holy Spirit would speak words of Truth to you and that He would give you a revelation of just how much you are loved and treasured by God. Remember that greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. Jesus is greater than all your depression and anxiety and fears– whatever comes against you. You and I both need to stand on what He has said about us in His Word. That is unchangeable truth that transforms. People can pray with us and it’s effective, but those feelings will soon be a memory and we can doubt anything happened (even though something could have and probably did) and we can forget what happened, but God’s Word is forever.

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