Father I pray to You and I pray in Jesus’s name and I pray with all my heart that you hear this prayer. I truly have been trying to confess my sins to You and it has become like a motion picture of terrible behaviors one scene after another. I have been trying to picture the faces of those who I have not forgiven(or I have not treated right because of my evil thoughts about them) and because of my unGodly rationalizations and conclusions just in my own mind thought I should forgive them for my own reasons regardless of proof or my own witnessing and perspective. These two things are so important to You(and to me) and I know that and I ask for guidance, a sign, even a slap in the face(or more) from You Jesus to have this forgiving of others and total confession of my sins complete insofar as up to this very time in space. It is in agony and torture in my human mind that I am now finding severe trouble with all my family relationships and especially my 18 year old son. And Lord help me to not grade my trouble because abomination and sin’s level of bad to the worse is not understood be me at all. That is I don’t think I can comprehend if one sin is worse than anther. I feel that certain things are worse like murder, rape, child molestation and torture but I really don’t know the deepness of all sin and abomination.All this trouble has been happening for a long time(years or maybe my entire life).
Now today I am faced with disease and this cancer has surely caused much introspection and reflection on who I am and why I am. I almost feel phony as to the timing of my confessions in this prayer but I also feel that God has allowed me through his Grace to finally understand His Love and forgiveness (and His many more promises) because of this cancer.
I ask in Jesus’ name to allow me to confess and testify His awesome works and in doing so please help guide me to have a better relationship with my son. And in all this to help me witness Jesus’ love and works to my son and also to my daughter and my two grandchildren. In all this time of strife for my family and for me help us God the Father to show Your grace because your grace is always there for us and we only need to open our hearts to it. In Jesus’ name I prayer Amen
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