Dear Heavenly Father,
I am so many character references in the Bible, I wish for nothing more than first to secure work/personal balance. Thank you for so many blessings to be grateful for and reminded of each day. I am grateful for the footprint in the sand, as I know You to have carried me through the toughest 900+ days of my entire life, I am overly joyful yo even be alive, however, you know of what physical ailments yet is before me. Thank you for freeing me of the burden of feeling weary and burdensome. I know I need days away from isolation, idle time post being hired and fired before every restoring my ability to earn income. Thank you for removing many other’s whom I attracted more by my kindness and either they mistaken it for my weakness or unaware of the amounts of energy and division of what tiny blessings be towed upon me shared with they, as you are the example of the Great Multiplier, the breaking of bread and example of how we are to love one another and never be a judge to our fellow man, although we have become a culture who has enormous potential with technology and such, but one that thrives on fake being the new truth, when the u overall truths of the world allow us to each exist and neighbor in that being happy. There is no happy or positive outcome when operating in the dark or satan’s Tom Foolery. Lord thank you as I believe to almost not come back from the emotional wreckage I allowed as many was my first and You must have known I would come out stronger, all I ask is to serve You first, becoming better and better each day, letting go of the past, true forgiveness and all You would wish among Your children.
Helping other’s and all I’m fighting has allowed me not to be prepared for some of what seemed would have made such a significant difference and perhaps the plans you had for me, however, I wish to be temporarily more self loving, more in nature, quantifiable goals, smart goals, I’ll write them out, say them out loud as the world gives it right back to me what I know is Satan as I am closest to You, my eyes have been awakened, I am Your servant, thinking to be doing all You would want me to, self sacrificing, but not to where my purpose and destiny is missed.
I wish for only health and solid relationships, I know of my energy and impact I make on so many. Thank you for allowing me time to read and learn about myself as this is the most valuable thing I could have done, but I need clarity, I need a miracle, You know my heart, I love to learn, and You know my passion, my many talents and drive I have had since age 13, always happy, pushing mindful boundaries, and know to stay in industry, but believed called to shift more from the role I’ve always elected in having, that of a leader, janitor and such as I wished to earn the respect of my staff and always eat last as leaders do, but more either behind the scenes somewhat or more pf a automated process giving me the mobility I desire.
My personality, jokes, writing style, the way I speak, is fine and I don’t have to be so rigid or hard oneself, as I am made by You, the Creator, the Redeemer, the Prince of Peace and the King of Kings perfectly imperfect and have the same worth and rights as all of your children, equally, and that my efforts are being recognized, although I will always push myself to be better.
I wish to live more in the here and now, soft spoken, less talk, get me back to my old self, flirtatious, quit witted, but clean and fun loving, cooking, family traditions, exercise and further from every adversary and lesson I must needed to go through and bevome the beacon of hope, new life and love that I’ve thought in always being, positive and optimistic as the world is our oyster and we are all called to lead. Remove and protect me from danger and those not having a genuine interest in me and connect me to alike minded groups or the job at big Brothers, big sisters, I have no way of knowing as Your thoughts are not my thoughts, but allow the implementation of all I’ve learned to become the lifestyle I now live, i am more than ready. Negativity, things and habits once served me have not in a very long time and is step one I believe. I wish no pity, I wish no advance, I’ll gladly earn all I have and repay more than my fair share in living modest and with the right team in place. If your plan is not for me to continue to pursue what I’ve worked towards all my life, so be it. I dont know how much more I’m able to take as I’ve hit rock, rock bottom and same as given up on my dreams here lately having become really discouraged and all the ways I’ve gotten a raw deal, however, I accepting 100% of my life in that if I’m in the equation, then I having an influence, pos or neg on every outcome even though many our derived from anything but leadership, they are what they are and have all lead to who I am today, what talents and many capabilities I potential to do good with, bringing Honor an glory to Your name and so much more. Please give me simple, easy to understand lessons and not every option as if I’m indecisive, lazy, unhappy, angry, and so forth, as I’ve shown up every day more than I believe that I was ever capable in doing reflecting back, I would benefit from more structure, work hours and not burn the candle at both ends, trust God, live as if my divine destiny, the love of my life did come around in His timing and relationships and much else equated to a life I should have been living for the last 20 years if I had been disciplined.
Thank you Father,