Lord, you know I don’t come to you often, but I have such concerns and fears about the future. I worry I am not strong enough to face the future or I will not be able to care for myself. This fear keeps me stuck and disconnects me from the people I care about most. It makes me bitter, angry, and sad, all the while I just want to be carefree, happy, bright, and shining. I want be loved and cared for and do the same for others. I want to bring light to others, but I feel like my fears build a wall around me. I need your help to love myself, so I can love others. I don’t know how – please show me the way.
I’m just not praying to you for me, but for others around me who share similar concerns. I’m praying for those also who fear for the future. I’m praying for those who face disconnects in love. I’m praying for those with closed hearts and minds.
I’m also praying for Mike, who is so very important to me – and I’m not entirely sure why or why he needs me or why I seem important to him. I have no idea why I love him as I do. There’s just something extraordinary about him – I often don’t feel worthy of him. Lord, you know I didn’t feel anything close to love for years, and now I feel all the things I should have felt for my ex-husband or lovers past. I want to support him, love him, comfort him, be faithful to him, obey him, and work out whatever issues we have, as true partners, united in body, love, and soul. But you know his demons (and mine) and how the devil taunts and teases him and me. I pray that I be strong enough to overcome them. Show me how to be the angel and helpmeet by his side he deserves.
I pray for the wisdom to accept and see the path, the strength to accept and open up to the help you give me, the faith to take each step in the face of fear and uncertainity, and enough love for myself and others, and finally hope in the face of all the tests and demons I might face.
Thank you Lord.