Feeling lost

by Brittney ()

I took a trip to new York recently for my birthday. Instead of it being the vacation and celebration I thought it would be; My true identity was exposed, unmasked, and uncovered. It left me shattered and broken. I’m struggling with identity. I became more aware of how I didn’t trust God, how I always wanted to control everything and every situation, how i was extremely selfish, how my heart lacked purity, and how much energy I put into being a Christian on the outside but inside I was dead. Not only that when I arrived back home last night, I recieved a letter from a job I have put so much time, energy, and money into over the last 4 months that I was rejected and wouldn’t be recieving the position. This was just the icing on the cake to top off my trip considering I’ve been stripped from what I thought to be good and God saying no, that’s not my original intention of you. It’s not who I created you to be. My energy level is zero and im devastated, I can’t even put it into words.

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