Feeling abandoned

by Erica ()

My name is Erica, I’m 45 yrs old and although I know I have failed Him many times God has my heart. I have tried to live for Him and for others and have tried to somehow always let His works show thru me. A few yrs ago, after my husband and I separated, my family and lifelong friends turned on me. My husband and his “friends” for whatever reason completely destroyed me just by lies they told about me. I lost everything and everyone I cared about which led to a failed suicide attempt. I know as a Christian suicide should never even be a thought but I 100% believe that is between that person and God!! That will be a day I’ll never forget and I’ll never forget the emotions I felt and I may get chastised for saying this but in my heart I truly believe I felt the abandoned feeling that Christ felt on the Cross!! I begged God to take those feelings from me, to just grab ahold of my heart and let me know I would be ok He did not. The heartbreak I felt was like nothing u can imagine unless u have been there for urself. After that it took time but I was able to prove myself only thru God and regain lost relationships. Why am I telling u this? Bc I have found myself right back in this situation. My family will not speak to me, they won’t let me see my grandbabies but no one will tell me why. This is what led up to this my ex daughter in law lives in Kentucky, long story short I went to spend some time with my granddaughter bc I am sick, i have MS and possible lymphoma. From the moment i was there I was full-time housekeeper and also left responsible for not just my grandbaby but her 1 yr old also. Now please don’t misunderstand I absolutely love children but at this time I do good to get up and moving most mornings let alone chase two toddlers around and clean a two story home. After a week I got down and decided I should come back home and go see my Dr. Since then no one has spoken a word to me. I ended up in a ER in Nashville the night before a 36 hr bus ride home. I was dehydrated, had a UTI and they also found something on my lungs. I told my family this to let them know why I had to get home, no one cares. I’ve prayed and cried and prayed and cried and I feel so hopeless right now, I don’t know what to do. Please please pray for me and my situation. My grandbabies and my children mean everything to me and it seems like they don’t feel the same. There is no telling what my ex daughter in law has told them but why would they just automatically believe lies about me?! I need God to please intervene right now.
Thank u for taking the time to pray for not just me but so many others.
God Bless

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