Faith in this era

by Mary Benson ()

My family is struggling to trust one another.
I am the only Essential Worker in the household and my 21 year old was leaving the house and putting others at risk of COVID 19. A boobie trap was set to determine leaving the house. Was always dressed in PJs upon arriving home and never admitted to leaving. After arguing during the days of suspicion,
my child has made the decision to live with someone whom I don’t approve (female). They met in college which neither one of them completed. Started smoking marijuana and drinking to the point I dont know my child anymore and we cannot seem to communicate without an argument.
During this pandemic, my child is not at home and I am having a difficult time focusing on Jesus.
There are days when my Faith is very strong and without warning, my Faith trembles. COVID19 doesnt hinder evilness of co-workers on the job where we work to serve seniors.
I’m being attacked at home and on the job.
Having said all of this, my good days out weigh my bad days. Being able to wake up every morning, in my right mind, body functioning to the best (having alot of test taken/lab work), roof over my head, have food to eat and working; I thank the Trinity every morning.
I want my child back home and this is the 2nd time leaving within two years. The first time was smoking marijuana in the backyard. I didnt see it, but smelled it. Months later, admitted.
I love my child. We take turns praying every day via communication on the phone. I was raised in a Christian home. My home is a Christian home.
Sometimes I wonder, where did I go wrong? Private school from pre-school thru 8th grade, then Charter School 9th thru 11th grade; then back to private school 12th grade. We have worked and served in church most of our lives.
I closing, I’m a single divorced parent. My X died at the age of 49 from a heart attack. My child was 8. I’ve lived a life in which would cause
my child to become the person she is today. She dated one male in her life time, including now; and we dated eight months before introduction. Attend church every Sunday. I dont drink, smoke (anything), curse, go to clubs or have men in my home. I lived a very respectful life in which I dont get in return.
I fear for her life and I will be 60 this year. My siblings live in other states, except one and he’s almost 80. My N-laws are nice people but, they live far away.
I wish I could move to be closer to my siblings but, due to my age and health insurance not covered in the state; cannot move.
I feel so alone now. I’ve raised my child alone since the passing of her father. He remained in our lives after the divorce; Thank God!

Today, is not a good day for me.

Please pray for my child and I. I love my child and vis-versa. We tell each other daily. My only child and I’m afraid of not living to see my child bloom into the creature God created to be.

Thank you! God bless you! God bless your family! God bless the WORLD!


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