Faith

by Dayle ()

I am what I guess would be considered “born again”. I am 60 and was not raised in any church nor did I attend at all in my adult life, until about fifteen years ago when I started attending my local Methodist church and I felt immediately welcomed there. Unfortunately, I had to stop attending services, because I started teaching Sunday school to 3 and 4 year old kids, which I deeply love and they are my joy, especially since my only child, my daughter, was killed in 1994, when she was only nine years old, so I’ve been struggling with deep anger (yes, even towards God for allowing that to happen) but I’ve come to realize that my daughter isn’t really gone, she’s just not here right now. If people ask me if I have any children, of course I say “YES!”; to say “No” would be to deny that she ever existed.

But my prayer is for me to stop being so angry at people every day because they won’t do what they know is right and they won’t stop doing what they know is wrong. I look around and all I see is “rotten” people. I live near Jacksonville, FL, an area (in)famous for being the Official Murder Capital of Florida and they take PRIDE in it! They post the homicide count in the paper EVERY DAY and a few weeks ago, it shot (pun intended) up SIX shootings in one week. This is what I need help with – forgiving people for not being what they should be. I need help with anger and depression; I’m like a “Negative Nellie” and there is no joy anymore.

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