Divorce to End with Justice

by terry underwood ()

I ask that you pray for me and with me for this horrendous divorce to come to an end with justice served. The journey of divorce, especially when your spouse just wants to take money that you had worked for your whole career of teaching and the salary you consistently provided for taking care of your family (husband and three sons) with love, is “stolen” from you at the time in your life when you would need it. After over 40 years of service and marriage, with dedication to both, my spouse decided he needed to get as much assets and my retirement and monthly pension, take half and leave his wife with as much debt as he could. Debt from not working together to plan, or doing what was best, but instead that got us way over our head in a financial mess. Rather than working on the marriage and through the financial mess, he tried to force me out of my home, but continue to make all payments for him (house payment, power, all costs associated with the home, and maintenance of his vehicle, just everything. I guess I was supposed to go live in a tent on the street so that I could provide everything for him. That is not the kind of salary a teacher makes. Yet he convinced the court with his attorney’s lies and his lies and his “shady” friends’ lies that he was a victim, his mantra. I was just worthless and other degrading comments that were untrue. Some people will do and say anything for drugs or money. The fact that my “husband” was allowing and contributing to all these lies, after a lifetime I had put into this marriage, and been faithful in our relationship, dutiful in providing more than my share of income, and a family that gave help along the way, as well as a proud mother of three wonderful sons, I was being belittled and my character shamed by my own husband and his “new” friends. The journey has been difficult. The emotions have ranged from shock, disbelief, anger, brokeness, strength, weakness, strength, sadness, analyzing, forgiving, and moving on to something better. I walk with God through this ordeal. I have questioned God, I have questioned myself, but I am ready for this journey to be over. I cannot change people nor their actions. I know the Lord knows my heart, and that is all I need. But I want to be finished with the emails, the contempts, the court dates, the unreimbursed thousands of dollars of insurance I had to pay where he refused to pay, the legal fees over thirty thousand or more, the wondering if I will have to move out of my home I have solely been paying for and before – for the over two and half years of dealing with this. He filed, it should have been me, I was the party that was suffering and put aside and spoke to like I was nothing, with profanity in every sentence and called names I had never been called in my life. He checked out but remained in the home til he so his best opportunity. I had a car accident due to sleep deprivation from my spouse keeping me awake all night just as he did others after he had to move out to begin the separation. Running engines, revving up engines, lights blaring into my bedroom, people coming in and out of the driveway, him leaving, all hours of the night. Meanwhile, I have to be up at six am to go to work and teach my students as well as look after my family. He seemed to purposely do things to cause problems. Hindsight, I think he was trying to make it miserable to make me leave. Then one September day, Thursday, on the way home from work, it happened. My precious mother, who died in the middle of all this chaos and hate, whom I didn’t get to give her quality or the quantity of time I wanted to, passed away. Dealing with this awful divorce, and working full time, trying to help parents who were now well, and going through the home life and marriage I was dealing with was such a trying experience. My mother had told me I looked tired, and when driving you just fall asleep and don’t know it. I had always been able to handle that, til that day. I ended up flipping 7 times, according to witnesses. I don’t know because I woke up – it wasn’t long – few seconds, I didn’t panic, I said what I knew to do – ride it out, ease back on the road. Then it was as if something pulled me into the median and the car could not be controlled at that point. I was totally in God’s hands at that point. I remember none of the flipping, only when I was being loaded up in the EMS. People, very kind people, stopped and helped. Many people helped. This precious little girl, recognized from our elementary school, and some others at the accident, and said that’s my teacher – or she’s a teacher at my school! They were so concerned. There’s an example of a teacher’s heart – we love our students, and even the ones we don’t teach, but yell hello to us in parking lots and grocery stores, or students that are grown and you both fondly remember each other. That I could write a book on! Back to the main subject, please pray for me to be able to keep my home (which is home to where my mother grew up and my dad and mother worked hard, and bought the land, gave me some to build a home on, my father built the house with his hands, and gave my SPOUSE and I a break on the cost of the home, built with love and precision for his daughter to have a home, even after he was gone), which mysteriously BURNED, and now this home on the same land, but not built by my dad, but on land my mother grew up on, I played on as a child myself, where my grandmother lived across the street, out in the country, is now going to be taken from me by my exspouse, because if there is money involved to get, he is willing and ready. But if there are bills, he isn’t responsible for anything. What kind of man does this to his family? There is so much more, but I know I need to shorten this. He also walked away from two of the three sons and grandchildren. What was so much more important? It doesn’t matter anymore. I have finally come to terms with it. This is what he wanted. Please pray that somehow I will be able to keep my home and live where my dad and my precious mother in heaven wanted me to have, so I would always have a home, and their grandchildren, which would have included my spouse, but he had other plans for himself. I have faith in God, I know he is walking with me through all of this and has a plan for me. A plan to prosper, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 I have court on August 14, 2020 – and my home may end up on auction if not sold or refinanced by August 19, 2020. I know I cannot count on my ex-spouse to work with me, or be honest with me or in court. It’s as though he wants me not to be able to live there, plus wants money and his judgements on the house to be paid. He has 10 acres of land almost or on the lake, which is his joy. I have to give him money from my pension/retirement, I have to buy the home basically if I can refinance it, so basically, I bought the ten acres of land for him. And may not even have a home myself. Please pray for justice for me and others affected by this decision. Please pray for a judge that will be fair and listen. Please pray for witnesses that will be able to help me. Please pray for strength for me as I will be questioned by my exspouse’s attorney who also lies and twists the truth. Please pray for my attorney (number 3 – too many just want your money, like my ex). Please pray that he will know how to present my case and ask the right questions, and bring to the judge’s attention, what needs to be presented. I have not had justice at all and I want to move on with my life. Please pray that God’s will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven. I pray for peace and honesty from my ex-spouse so that we can put this down and to rest. I do not want more conflict. Enough is enough. Thank you everyone who has read this and prayed for me. I pray blessings on each of you!

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