Assurance, direction, marital problem

by Wannah ()

I have a full plate of prayer requests. I’m almost 50 and i have no job – i was let go for what seems a very unfair reason. i need a job. i’m alone but married. I’ve been married 20 years. he is an alcoholic and leaves me often. he now has a house and a job but sends me mixed messages about staying together and getting a dissolution. i know God does not like divorce and have asked many times for direction if i am to let him go or continue to have hope. my prayer is that my husband talks with me without hanging up or giving up on the conversation (i am very often left hanging – no conversation is ever resolved because of this) and that i have a clear message on either divorce or keep trying. i have five children – they are grown – but now that i am alone i have a huge decision to make. I have no one to answer to no children at home no husband to help and now no job. i have tried for two jobs but they hired another…. so my prayer is what do i do? keep trying to find a job, go back to my village (where my mom wants me – no job there btw), go to school – continue education so i don’t rely on these entry level jobs, move to where there are more job opportunities? i feel this change came for a reason but what is the change? its been a month since i worked. and i believe my faith – i know i can do more as God instructs but i don’t – i read the bible and go to church and bible studies – i get what they are saying and i feel charged and ready to submit to whatever comes my way but i still like a failure. pressured to do more – so i prayer for God to talk with me and i feel and hear nothing. like for months – years….. i pray to be sensitive to his words and signs…..where are they? when i talk with the kids about God and prayer and solutions it rolls out but when its me I still doubt still wait still feel like pressured to do more or that i am not enough. i given my prayer request before many times about my marriage and some of my current situations and no one really has an answer other then to pray – which i do and still nothing seems to be changing

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