I have battled with rheumatoid arthritis and systemic lupus for many years. I am permanently disabled and I miss my “old life” so much that it hurts…I loved my job as a nurse, and need to hold back the tears when I need to go for my treatments as I once provided the sick with those treatments.
Along the way I have lost friendships and struggle with unsupportive family members…some even laugh at me when I use my walker or when I mention the details the regimen of of my medications or once again mention my severe pain..and it is my impression that they believe I am “faking” my illness and am lazy.
I do have an extensive list of medication I take daily and also struggle with the myriad of side effects, for which I also need to take even more medicine. It has gotten so expensive, that I now need to chose between purchasing medicines or buy food/pay bills, (Yes I do have insurance, and use generics. I have sought financial assistance but have been told repeatedly that I make $57 too much to qualifiy for aid.)
I now have started my eighth medicine for the rheumatoid arthritis. I pray yet again that this medicine will aid in reducing the severe pain and inflamation of my illness and that I can do “normal” things like cooking a meal, walking a few blocks, use a real glass instead of drinking out of a plastic cup–this is do to my tremors and I drop many things.
Dear Lord, I pray for strength to handle the continuous pain pain, fatigue, and side effects. I know that my illness will never be cured, but I beg for your strength that I can function to the best of my ability. I truly don’t know what to pray for for my “uncaring” family. Their uncaring words and acts hurt as much as the joint pain I feel. Lastly, Dear Lord, I ask some guidance so that I can afford my medicines and pay my bills. Amen