A Hardened Heart

by Carmen ()

I pray from all my heart for the relationship with my mother in law since from the beginning of my marriage she has been a constant challenge in our family. Sometimes I feel that God placed me in this context to be able to overcome my pride and teach me the lesson of humility and unconditioned love but I do not have the strength to show her kindness despite her insults and attacks on my family.
She is tireless in looking for reasons for dissatisfaction and criticism of me as my wife and mother. She uses her influence on our children to send me annoying messages. After so many years she still finds resources to complain about everything depsite my efforts to develop a good relatioship.
I feel like I have failed to be a good christian since nothing I do or say can melt her hardened heart. Neither the love of my sweet children nor the love of my husband or my efforts to please her.
I feel exhausted, I tried to respond kindly to her insults, not to argue with her and to settle the conflicts she caused. Despite all these at the end of the day I feel desolated, with a constant pain in my heart: my love, my kindness is not enough. I feel very weak and tired of her attacks….. Throught these years I hoped for a change in her heart, I prayed for the peace of our family but everytime I hoped for this, I have been dissapointed. I tried to move on, by letting go to all my pain, by giving up on her but this didn’t bring me the peace I have hoped for. I see my husband suffering because of her insults, I see my kids that ask for explanations for her behavior. I feel an enormous sadness for all her actions and insults…… but I pray for her soul to find peace………and I pray for me to find balance in my life. Often she troubles me with her behaviour and shatters my hopes that her heart will ever change…. I know God can change any heart and for sure he has a plan for our life. May God find a way to her heart!

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