Gratitude

by Maricela ()

Hello everyone,
This is probably more than a prayer, word of comfort to those that were left heartbroken and think that they won’t find happiness again. One year and one month ago, the man that I adored, that I wanted to be the one, the man that stole my heart from the moment I met him in person but stole my attention when I saw his picture, the man who made me feel like the relationship was magical although the ups and downs we had, that man that meant everything to me after God and my kids, 13 months since he sent an email and broke up with me. Day one was absolutely the worst. That morning I end up at my doctor’s office and said: “I don’t want to live”. I found out I was pregnant and with a broken heart. I was selfish, I didn’t care about my kids and my pregnancy. The doctor didn’t know if to send me to a hospital or to put me on a medication for suicidal people, and that is what she did. Every morning I mourned, on the floor, my tears flooded my room, I was absent from my body. 4 years with someone that always told me that he was in love with me. I was desperate, I knew I failed many times in the relationship but oh boy, I loved that man with each cell in my body. I was still grieving my other pregnancy loss, and I was about to experience this one more time, alone. Life had no meaning. All this time I forgot that God was always looking after me. I never cried alone. But to my end, I was grieving and mourning the loss of a man more than anything else that mattered in my life. One morning I called my sister and she gave me the most valuable advice: Pray and Praise when you feel like you can’t go on. I couldn’t understand how that will heal me. I was seeing a psychiatrist every week, counseling and medication. But why not? So one day I did. And little I knew that was the beginning of my healing journey. To those who are desperate asking God to bring that person back, let His Will lead you. He knows what is best for us. 13 months ago I thought that I was going to die. I didn’t. The true joy of my life was found in the pure and true love that God had for me, knowing that He gave his only Son because He loved me that much. That is what Love is about. Loving someone through imperfections, trials, not only when things are going well. When I realized how much God loves me, I had to start healing from the inside. From my past, from how this man broke my heart. A week ago I was driving from work and a sudden hurt took over me. I started crying. I called a friend, she prayed and then another friend without knowing tagged me in her pastor’s preaching. He talked about pain, heartbreaks and healing. I knew it. I was still in pain. I was still hurt.
I pray that you understand that healing takes time, but it does get better. I pray God’s love fill your heart and you see that as you are going through this painful heartbreak, He is right there with you.
To the man that broke my heart, JT I tell you this: Thank you for loving me the way you did. There are still many things that I can’t understand and I probably never have an answer, but I forgive you. I pray one day you find out that God’s love is better than anything that this world try to offer. I pray He guards your heart and blesses you in everything you do, and know that I also need to ask you for forgiveness. I did fail you as well at one point of the relationship I know I was a burden. I will always love you, that will remain in my heart, but I decided to give the pain and hurt wings, and let them fly far away.
God bless you all. Bring your tears, your broken heart to Jesus. Let his love fill your heart.
One day at a time. Life is good. Life gets better.
And if no one told you this, I love you.
Maricela

Leave a Reply for "Gratitude"

Your email address will not be published.
By posting your comment, you agree to the submission agreement.