Messed up

by Sherry ()

I was frustrated at work on an issue with my hours and got upset with a lady I work with because her hours were not changing but she had to give her advice to my supervisor on her thoughts about it and now my supervisor is mad at me because I told the lady I work with that she should have stayed out of it basically and I was rude to her in the moment and she got upset because I hurt her feelings and now my supervisor is making my life harder and she hates me. I have tried to apply for a different job and she vetoed me with that manager that is her friend and so I applied in another department and she is friends with that supervisor and so I don’t think I’m going to get that job. I did apologize to the lady I work with after my supervisor told me too. I should have done it sooner but I was being stubborn I guess. Now I am paying the price for 2 minutes of frustration showing and I can’t sleep and am depressed and feel horrible about myself and want to know what’s going to happen from here with my life. If I could go back in time I would definitely do things differently. I should have went for a walk and kept my mouth shut. I pray for another job to come along with my same rate of pay and same hours. I want and need some peace and grace and a clear path. I have been at this job for 6 years and I never move up to the next step because my supervisor says I’m not ready so that is frustrating too. My family is in town this weekend and I feel like such a failure and so stupid for letting my feelings get the best of me and showing them. Anyway I don’t know what to pray. When my supervisor was yelling at me I kept writing the name Jesus in my notebook but I did not feel his words of wisdom or his peace or that he was with me at that time. It made me sad because I felt so alone in that moment. Thanks for any prayers as I don’t know what to do or how this is going to end. I keep telling myself that God is good and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me but then I start to question my faith.

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