Heavenly father in Jesus name I pray and pour out my heart to you almighty God. Today was hard. I wanted to have a conversation with Mike about our relationship and my feelings but he turned it around on me with the usual gaslighting response response and made me feel worse about myself and our current situation. He is a miserable person and I don’t know why. I try everything and I try to be upbeat and happy and not to mention kind and generous. I’m not a mean person. He doesn’t tell me that he loves me or even attempt affection. I’m not exactly sure what he wants and I think of what my life would be like alone. I crave stability and security. I crave affection and love. I crave happiness and peace. Only You in Your mighty mercy and all power can heal me. If I’m meant to be with Mike please show me. Please also touch his heart to the fact that I do love him and also my needs. He has to be capable of empathy to some degree. Bring me closer to You and Your purpose for my life no matter where that puts me. I’m not young and not yet old but I am very lost right now as to what direction to take. Guide me. Let me not have spent the last 13 years in vain. In Jesus name. Amen.
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